I'll just get right to it.
Lately my relationship with God has been dwindling down.... i havent been paying much attention to Him or His messages. I miss Him but for some reason i cant quite get back to Him as much as i normally would. My brother says you're as close with God as you let yourself be. I know im not letting myself get close enough... but i wish i would! All i have to hold on to for hope is to remember how close i was with Him before. I miss being joyful everyday solely because I love Jesus! Well i've been racking my memories to find something to bring me closer with God, and today i found one. I was looking for a new profile song on Myspace and was thinking "whats something that will make me want to listen to it 24/7?" and well i remembered Phil Wickham.
So i was looking and looking and remembered a song called You're Beautiful (or well... just Beautiful) and it was stuck in my head a while ago and i was doing a meditation with my friends and imagining being with Jesus and well, in my head me and Jesus were singing that song together... and it sounded beautiful! and it made me so incredibly happy at the time that i was obsessed with the image! i loved that i loved Him. I loved how we sounded when we sang to each other!
Well, for a while i couldnt find that song anywhere online! Especially not when it was stuck in my head! But tonight i found it.... and im so glad that i did because it has brought me closer with God by just listening to it and remembering that image i got being with Him. I could just picture myself singing it one Sunday morning for church and just crying when it gets to the loud part where you sing at the top of your lungs "You're Beautiful!" I miss having those moments where i have to hold back tears during worship, get chills down my spine, and cant help but smile because i know His angels are in the room! I want that again, and i think that now i want it so much that i MEAN it, thus im getting it.
I'm sorry God for not letting myself get closer to you. I want to be back there again. I dont want to wait for OGN to do its wonders.... its not OGN that does it, its YOU. OGN is just an instrument You use.
I also was listening to another song (that was in the list of songs on one web page) that was right after You're Beautiful... and it was talking about How long do i have to wait for my Lord? and it also had a line saying "Your children are running to You" and i got this great picture of like.... a music video or a heavenly reality of just a crowd of people like... thousands! just running to Jesus and all chasing Him and reaching Him and hugging Him and at the end of the song everyone is just hugging each other all around Jesus (hugging him too) like a vertical doggy pile donut hug... and Jesus is just shining so bright and everyone else is being illuminated and start to glow also and just shine for the whole world to see.
I love pictures from Jesus.
I love regaining my Love and Awe for Jesus.
If you want to listen to the songs on the website do so. (you dont need a myspace to hear them)