Tomorrow is my grandpa's birthday,
me and my mom and possibly my sister, are going to visit him at the care center he's at to wish him a happy birthday.
i now officially like visiting my grandpa.
ive decided that i want to volunteer at that care center and talk with all the other demented oldies (no im not calling them stupid, they all have some sort of demensia)
i keep forgetting what my grandpa has, its like... leonardo's disease..
no... scratch that, i just asked my mom... its Lewy Bodies Disease.
it has the symptoms of Alzheimers, Parkinsons, and Dimensia.
so my grandpa doesnt remember, shakes, and see's hallucinations and thinks certain things are certain ways.
when i visitied him he asked me if i was an indian, and thought my dad was dead,
kept showing us his watch and telling us different things about it (but like... starting over...) like "oh look at my watch, it shows the time and the date, see the 9, yeah, that way i know what time it is and what day it is..........
oh look at my watch, it shows the time, and its shiny so i see myself in it, oh looky here, see the 9, thats for the month...." etc.
he thought his dad was there, and that his wife was in a care center down the street, that he worked in a place selling alcohol, that hes going to go hunting for a new pair of shorts (they cant leave, they have outdoor places to go to but not outside of the facility)
one time when my mom was visiting him, he asked if she saw the ponies outside (its a big blank parking lot outside), and that theres a gorilla on the loose (no gorilla), and that theres a piano bar (nope), and that this one guy, in the piano bar, is really rich (nope),
but i like visiting him... its an interesting, funny, cute, yet pitiful and depressing experience.
but i love looking past the white face and dark circles around his eyes, and seeing who he was before.
it still saddens me deeply when i think about it, but im glad cause he's happy, and he has probably the most interesting life now.... because one day he could be at work, the next he could be at the zoo, the next there could be a piano bar, the next there could be danger and excitement.... its interesting.
ive decided i want to volunteer there and just hang out with the people there... and like... show them love and friendship...
i dont know how many of them have visitors, family, friends, etc. so i want to be their friend. i want to show them love, i want to make them as happy as possible.
some people may think "why work with old people? why not work with children... the old people dont have much longer" and well... i think... exactly.... they dont have much longer... so i want to make as much of their life as happy as possible....
like an average...
if there was an average of good and bad in their life, and there was an average of bad.
then the more good i put into it the more the average of their life turns good.
if that makes sense.
it does in my head.
but yeah. ive realised i want to start being a good person.... not just a good person like... happy and loving and giving my friends things, having morals, but like... doing the goody goody stuff.... like... helping fundraisers, giving money to orginizations, volunteering places, hanging out with dying people, i may even do the big brother big sister thing,
but for all you Encounter people out there, dont worry, i will do my part in encounter first. i will help pay for the kids we sponsor, recycle, etc.
but i want to do more too.
i want to start pouring my life out, and impacting people, making my life worth something other than just for myself. like school? for myself, food? for myself, reading? photography? watching tv? hanging out? for myself...
i want to start being more selfless in everything i do.
if i dont have one already, then im going to MAKE myself have a servants heart