Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Kneeling/Back of outlines

So for a week now (it doesnt feel like it)

ever since Tuesday night, ive been going to bed and bowing/kneeling on the floor and praying, then reading the bible (usually using the back of past encounter outlines) and then getting in bed, and praying some more. then going to sleep.

well this is how it started,

i get in bed, i cant sleep, i hear a whisper,

it scares me,

i rebuke and pray that God calms my imagination,

then i hear it again. it scares me again, but this time i feel (on the inside) a tug to get out of bed. so i did and just immediately went on my knees and bowed down, and just like... humbled myself. and tried to clear all my thoughts, and just kind of... pray, listen, and meditate.

so i prayed, and then i was getting tired, my knees were hurting (i have bad knees), the blood was rushing to my head, so i asked God if i could go to bed or if he had more, so then i felt like i should read the bible.

so i did, and read and tried to see past the words if that makes sense,

and then prayed some more on what i learned what i heard etc.

so then i thought it was a one time deal.

but then the next night i heard a whisper again... so i rebuked and prayed, and then i remembered the night before.

so i got out of bed, kneeled down and prayed and did the whole shabang again. (different bible thing)

and then the third night i just went straight to my knees, not waiting for a whisper or anything. so then i told God "im ready" and did it again,

and thought of the story of the 2 guys (i forgot their names) and one thought that the other was calling him so he got out of bed and went in and asked what was up, then the other said that he didnt say anything, and that happend a few more times, and then the other guy said the next time he hears it say "speak Lord, your servant is listening" and so the guy goes back to bed, hears it again, then says that, and gets a command...

thats my version, not as great as the message, but i think you get the picture.

so now ive been doing that every night and its been a week so far, and ive been using the backs of old outlines i still have (i dont throw them away) and using that instead of just randomly opening the bible and seeing what God wanted, which is what i did the first 2 nights.

so it was kind of like God saying "if your not going to talk with me and listen to me, im going to do something about it"

so then he whispered.

it has seriously like... boosted my faith. before i was kind of like... learning, but love-wise (towards God) and faith-wise i was kind of staying around the same.

but now its changing and moving and getting better and its nice.

i told my brother and he said its cause im not in the way of me anymore.

and really, i dont want to be in the way of me anymore.

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