Monday, October 6, 2008

money/family issues

so today started out happy, yay i got my licence,

but now its just...


i really dont like it when my parents talk about money issues in front of me, but i had to be there this time because it started out being about me driving the car alone.
(which i cant do until i have my own car,)

and they started talking about how were close to being in debt because were not making enough, and were slowly getting closer and closer and theres nothing we can do about it.

our cars are dying, (pretty much all of them except for my brother's which well.. already has things wrong with it, but isnt critical yet.)

so pretty soon were gonna be stuck with that situation,

im just really scared. like... REALLY scared about whats gonna happen. i mean weve gone up and down with money, but this time its the worst, and with the economy going down, it just sucks.

if we go into a depression (which it seems like we are) then my family will get the short end of the stick and then what?


please, just pray. im sure some of you are going through this as well, but still... its hard to be happy with this on my mind.

i have no idea whats going to happen... i feel like the cars are going to die, im going to be stuck at home, probably having to hitch rides everywhere, (not like i dont do it enough as it is) i have no idea how this is going to work out, or get better,

and i hate to think that my parents have to deal with it! have to try and solve it! and have this on their shoulders to support me and each other. how crazy that must be!

and my dad! oh man... its getting to be that time of year again where hes in his depression/manic rut (around this time every year he gets extra bi-polar) so that PLUS sucky things actually happening!!!

i dont know how were going to deal with it!

im seriously terrified. like ive been having more anxiety, more breathing issues, more aches and pains.
its taking a major toll.

im scared :'(

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