Thursday, December 4, 2008

Patience

I definetly need a lot more of it. well i guess okay no... i dont...

i just would LIKE a lot more of it, because im tired of waiting, and because i KNOW im going to have to continue to wait, i would rather not care anymore.


so i need patience,


but thank God he started teaching me that lesson at OGN this summer, because i dont think i would be able to stand it this time.


I know im being vague, and you dont know why i need patience, but its just for a lot of different things, not all good reasons for being impatient, or good things for me to have right now that im needing to wait for, but just to name a few,


boyfriend,
career,
graduating,
more confidence (i know it seems weird to be "waiting" but its complicated)


im waiting and waiting for my life to start, and i want to start, but have no idea how.


ive been praying for guidance for a while now, and now i need to pray for patience because im not getting the guidance that i want i know im getting what i need, but not wat i want


This is the life i would LOVE to have.

Live in LA, in some crazy cool house/condo/whatever with rad people,
Play music of mine and actually LIKE my songs,
Record a great CD with every song being amazing,
Be on Disney Channel and be a role model for young girls,
Have a group of people that i meet weekly to have an intense worship night/connection with God,
Have a boyfriend (joe jonas?) who joins me in most of those things (when available),
Go on tour (with boyfriend?),
Fly to a ton of places,
Start or Help an organization (possibly to try and raise money/awareness about clean water for the world, or malaria),
Sponsor like... 134892374928347 kids,
Possibly teach younger people about God and my faith,
Do the things im unable to do because im tied down from money/access.



I can do it. I know how i am, i know im completely capable of doing those things and still be with God and praise him and have a connection with him,


but all im getting from God right now is to keep going with what im doing, the path that im going on, and finish what i need to finish and i will eventually get where i need to go in order to start my future. if that makes any sense.


but,

im impatient. i know thats all i need to hear right now, and all that God will tell me right now, but im impatient.


God help me.

1 comment:

chanchanblog said...

The part I love about this is that you know you can do it. You know!
That's the part I need to work on.
I love it because you can do it! You know you can, you believe you can, and it's not just a fleeing dream.
I'm kind of jealous of you sometimes.