okay, so let me start off saying i was REALLY WEIRD YESTERDAY
not in a good way, and not in an annoying way.
i was just like... randomly depressed and extremely lonely,
so when me and my friends were taking a group photo (for no reason) i kept refusing and was being lame, and i didnt really know why.
but today i had a photoshoot and it was fun,
yes, me. the girl who refused to take ONE group photo, had a photoshoot the next day.
i really enjoyed it, especially because when i was younger i wanted to be a model (watching America's Next Top Model every chance i could) and i really wanted to be on that show, but then i changed my mind because i didnt want to be in that scene, like HAVING TO BE SKINNY like... ALL THE TIME and being pretty much anorexic, and also like... pretty much naked. yeah i dont want that.
so i decided not to be a model.
being a rockstar/actress where you take a bunch of pictures for like CD covers and stuff like that. then i could have some modeling in there.
so that would be sweet
which is why i REALLY WANT TO GET MY LIFE STARTED!!!
but last night, as i was doing the dishes (for some reason thats like, Jesus moment for me all the time) and i was talking to God, and he said that today was going to be "different" and the "start of my future" and i asked him what it means and he said that ill find out,
so im searching for what that means, and i hope i will actually find it.
future, here i come! hah