Saturday, February 28, 2009

Attack Attack

seriously like... THE BEST hardcore band ive ever heard!

techno+good quality hardcore+christian messages= happy time!

I was listening to their CD this week because Spencer burned it for me, and i kept on thinking "oooh i like this one the best, no.. this one... no... this one... no... wait... i just went through the whole CD saying that i liked that one the best..." so i dont really have a favorite song on their CD "Someday Came Suddenly" i like it all.

that truly makes a great band. when you cant pick a favorite song. they are all just so good!

im excited for April 6th.... comin to SD!!!! yayuhhh!!!

i need to get better at hardcore dancing during breakdowns because so far i only dance in the 2-step portions of songs, and if theirs a breakdown i just like... get out of the pit, more because thats when it gets more dangerous and people start windmilling and then you could get accidentially wacked in the head.... or purposefully if you dont know what youre doing.

ahhhh i cant wait!

recording tomorrow! still!


excited! still!


its 1:22am at the moment, and im waking up at 6:50 tomorrow... so...

i need to get off the computer...

flat screen!

okay, now i dont know if Africa has changed whether or not Brian is still jealous of flat screen tv's but...

we have one now...

52" LCD Flatscreen...

and it's beautiful.

its in my parents room now, and we moved their old tv downstairs (somewhat flat,) and its good too.


i love upgrades!

and we got it for like... cheeeeeeeeeap because circuit city is going out of business, and my dad had to rent one anyway so why rent one for a lot and then give it back? why not just buy it.

so he did.


im not going to think about how we can manage this with the factor of my family having like... zero money right now, but whatever.

im just happy with what we have.

oh and

The Phantom Tollbooth.

recording tomorrow

got the myspace link

(its "the phantom tollbooth" without any vowels btw)

yay :]

Friday, February 27, 2009


I sleep too much.

i go to bed late, wake up late,

i need to start kicking myself in the butt with this.

because i get more than 8 hours of sleep every night but i go to bed at like 2am.

something in my brain in the mornings though just doesnt let me get up till im almost out of time before class.

i just snoooooze and snoooooze. im going to wake up at 10 tomorrow.

i know i know, seems late, but thats earlier than i have been waking up lately.

honestly ive been rediculous with how late ive been sleeping.

i need a job!!!!

Phantom Tollbooth

Is recording this saturday.

Im excited... like... WAY excited! im interested to see the music all come together n stuff.


we have a show coming up!!!!

i know!


March 21st

at Channel 12 25 in El Cajon.

im stoked.

we get $2 for every ticket we sell if we sell over 25, which between 5 people is eeeeeasy.

I dont know how much tickets are yet, but once i know more details ill post'm

also we have a myspace...

dont try and look it up the URL way because both and are both taken by laaaaaaame bands.

i dont know what our url is yet, but its my #1 on my top friends on myspace.

so yeah.

im excited! oh and possibly band pics on sunday?


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Need a job


very badly.

i have my own car now, and well... at the moment my parents are paying for my gas, but its like pulling teeth everytime i have to ask, and we arent to well off with the whole money situation so i dont want to take any if i dont have to.


trips and things are coming up that i alone have to pay for such as, the possible Grad Night at my school (i say possible just because my school is incredibly lame about rediculously fun things.) and OGN, and Spring Retreat, etc.


i just applied to Home Depot.


im freekin desperate.

I might even apply to places i wouldnt even set foot in to shop, like Hollister... ew...

i just need income! good pay if possible...


its hard to find a place that will hire a 16 year old in-experienced girl who can only work mornings and weekends.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Definition of Marraige. (in God's eyes)

Timing is weird. It just so happens that at this very moment, a billion things in my life are intertwining together in a theme. It's interesting.

Encounter is in a dating series, i was havin some boy stuff go on, i just so happen to start reading the book Sex God by Rob Bell, (It's not a book about a guy who thinks he is one, its about the relationship between spirituality and sexuality.)


all of these things have stirred up this question.

What exactly IS marraige.

i mean yeah i get it you have a wedding, have witnesses, sign papers, etc.

but what about to God?

where is the line? what defines marraige in God's eyes?

and since encounter is in the sex and dating series, ive also thought, what in God's eyes is considered marraige, to where a virgin can have sex and it would be shameless?

What about people who dont have a wedding, does there need to be a wedding? why would there need to be a wedding? What does the bible say about the definition of marraige? Is it just committing yourself to one person for the rest of your life? because there are people who do that without getting "married"

can you be married in God's eyes but not in society's? are they the same? are they different?

i have so many questions! Sex God barrrrrrely talked about that. Rob Bell just asked if you could already be married to someone you're dating.

im so curious!

i hope someday someone teaches about. whether it be brian, or ed, or some other person at some camp.

i hope i find some answers, or maybe even just some educated guesses, or even logical opinions.

Thursday, February 19, 2009


Sometimes, well no.... a lot of times, very frequently actually, i think about how much i want to go outside, mostly at night.

and well, i live on a pretty dang safe neighborhood. by a park, a school, pretty good.


im terrified of going outside at night by myself. even my backyard, but we dont have a fence so it may be reasonable.

but sometimes i wish that somehow i could avoid possible harm, so that i can go outside fearlessly. because there are bad people, crazy people, rabbid animals, accidents, etc.

This has been a fear of mine alllllll my life.

i would bawl my eyes out if i was forced to go out in the backyard at night. i was terrified that a coyote would come and eat me, and well even now, when im way bigger than a coyote, where i could just punt it if i wanted to, i still have that fear imprinted in me. I can go outside easier, and if the lights are on, im okay, but without the lights on? ohhh heck no.

there are homeless people in my neighborhood that go through our recyclables so um no.

but really.

i would love it if i could just go outside with a blanket and just look at the stars alone. like watch the sunrise in my backyard, look at the stars in the front or back, watch the sunset in my frontyard without being scared ill be harmed.

the sunrise and sunsets are not so bad, but i still feel odd.

but this post is pointless, but i guess its alright, because i did reveal a lifelong fear of mine that i havent really actually put into words like that before.

but yeah i have no end or point for this so ill just end it here.


Spencer had the best idea in the world on Tuesday. Well, it was more of a fantasy he would have every now and then about the future that he shared at tuesday group this week.


after tuesday group, when people were leaving and there were only like 5 of us.


He had the best idea in the world.

Im not sharing it at this point in time, (i know i know, the suspense is killing you right?)

and well... im just asking for your prayers, for God's guidance in all of this for everyone involved, and resources to make it happen.

but honestly, it would be amazing if everything worked out!!!!! I cant tell you how much i want this to happen!

by the way, the idea is a particular way to further God's kingdom. just fyi.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Valentines day.

I really didnt want to post a blog about valentines day, but really i just felt like blogging about it anyway.

So, i never really realise how important valentines day is to me until a couple days before the day itself, when its proven that no one has, or will ask, to be my valentine.

i cant tell you how many times ive gotten teased about my name and how that day is supposed to be "my day" because of my name, what my plans are, if i have a valentine, etc. Well i guess ive heard it enough times that people are subconsciously making me believe it.

People always tell me i of all people should have a valentine. or be someone's valentine.

and everyone always fake asks.

"summer valentine, will you be my valentine? *laughs at own joke*"

youre hilarious.


couldnt come up with something better?

so yeah.

i guess valentine's day has become sort of a big deal in my head, and every year i wish for something amazing to happen that day, to have a valentine and him have some elaborate plan for that day.

honestly, once i have a valentine, he better have his act together and is good at planning, because otherwhise i will be pissed... ive been teased too long to have a sucky valentines day once i actually get to celebrate one.

and i guess it also sucks because im the only Valentine left without a valentine.

my parents have well... each other, my sister is married, my brother has a girlfriend, and me...



im gonna end this depressing blog with something that happened in my english class today.

Dr. Sako (teacher): "pay attention to this sentence for example. 'I am making plans for a romantic dinner with my wife for valentines day.'"

Student A: "You really are thinking about valentines day a lot today arent you."

Dr. Sako: *soul-warming, amused smile* "Everyday is valentines day when youre happy with the person you love."

Whole Class: "Aaaaaaaaaaawwwwww."

Student B: "But i thought you said you fight with your wife?" (something he joked about as his favorite pasttime, along with tv, the first day of class)

Dr. Sako: *amused smile* "Only in my mind. You dont fight with your wife if you're smart."

random girls in the class: "mmmmmmmmmhmm." "not if you know whats good for you." "She gets what she wants."
*more laughter*

its more of a you-had-to-be-there moment. with my teacher's accent, his heart-warming amused smile, the stupidity in my classmate's voices. hah i love my english class. this class and my ASL class last semester are the 2 best classes ive ever taken. nothing else compares. but it sucks cause my ASL class this semester is like.... the worst class ive ever taken.


but whatever. this post is about valentines day. not my schooling.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Im so busy busy busy lately!

ever since the new semester started ive been out of the house sooo much!

okay heres how my days go.


do my morning stuff.
get ready for school.
do school (if i have time).
rush rush rush out the door at like 1:30.
speed to school (because i underestimated my time).
circle about 10 times trying to find parking.
go into class not too excited.
learn at like 2:00.
end class at like 3:50.
get food.
stay out of the house for a bit.
go home
watch Chuck
watch Heroes
watch Medium.
then do the dishes.
go on the computer.
do my night stuff.


do my morning stuff.
get ready for school.
do school (if i have time).
rush out the door again at like 2:00.
find parking (so annoying!)
go to class at like 3:00.
get annoyed at my teacher for not signing clear enough, and not being entertaining enough.
go eat because i usually havent eaten anything yet that day.
go home to tuesday group.
people come and leave.
do the dishes
go on the computer?

all the normal morning stuff.
rush to school.
learn more english.
get out of class at 3:50.
drive through traffic.
get some sort of snack like starbucks or jamba.
go to production meeting at 4:30
end meeting at 6:00
get dinner(ish) till small groups
small groups at 7:00
ends at 9:00
rush home to watch LOST
watch it.
do dishes.
go on computer

morning stuff.
school stuff.
get out of class at 4:50.
rush to band practice that starts at 5:00.
practice till 6:45.
eat with people.
go home
vegggg on the couch
do dishes.
night stuff.

morning stuff/get ready.
go to band practice at 12.
practice till however long it takes... (till at least 3 or maybe even 4)
eeeeeeeeaaaat because im starving by then.
hang out.
go to hope for the homeless at like 5 or 5:30 (sometimes even 6 :[ )
get back to church around 9:00
go and eat with people.
hang out.
do stuff.
go home by 11.. (blegh. stupid liscence)
night stuff

get up.
go on computer.
figure out what people are doin that day.
get ready.
leave whenever plans are made.
stay out till 11.
go home.
night stuff.

sleep barely.
wake-up at 6:00.
morning/get ready stuff.
rush out to church at like 7:00
stay at church till like 12:30ish?
eat at gmont center till like... 2ish?
adventure with people somewhere...
stay out till like... 11 (hopefully... unless my mom decides the weekend is over)
then go home.

over and over every week.

i mean every day and week is different, its just im ALWAYS out!

i like being busy. and full. and such. but also i need a job!

so how the heck am i supposed to do alll of that.
get a job.
do homework.
at the same time?

i know i know i could just go straight home and do homework. but honestly, if i didnt stay out i would diiiieee.

i would feel so busy.

my friends make me free. if i just did school. church. home. i would feel SOOOO BUSY!

but when i have school. church. friends. home. then i feel less busy. i feel more free and flexible when i can hang with my friends.

i dont know.

i guess i just dont really want to be home much anymore.

i honestly want to get a job to pay for:
ipod, (itouch?)
paint job for car?
sell my old car and buy a new one.

i would want roommates though of coarse.

i really want to just like...

get out in the world

be on my own.

just like...


i wanna travel! like... a buunch of places!

and like... live places for a bit.

just like... rent out a place,

then go somewhere new,

rent a place there,

then come back.

settle down,

have kids.

make a home.

but still travel!

i dont know.

i feel like if im at home, that im STUCK at home.

but if im out of the house, that i can be... well... out of the house!