Sometimes, well no.... a lot of times, very frequently actually, i think about how much i want to go outside, mostly at night.
and well, i live on a pretty dang safe neighborhood. by a park, a school, pretty good.
im terrified of going outside at night by myself. even my backyard, but we dont have a fence so it may be reasonable.
but sometimes i wish that somehow i could avoid possible harm, so that i can go outside fearlessly. because there are bad people, crazy people, rabbid animals, accidents, etc.
This has been a fear of mine alllllll my life.
i would bawl my eyes out if i was forced to go out in the backyard at night. i was terrified that a coyote would come and eat me, and well even now, when im way bigger than a coyote, where i could just punt it if i wanted to, i still have that fear imprinted in me. I can go outside easier, and if the lights are on, im okay, but without the lights on? ohhh heck no.
there are homeless people in my neighborhood that go through our recyclables so um no.
i would love it if i could just go outside with a blanket and just look at the stars alone. like watch the sunrise in my backyard, look at the stars in the front or back, watch the sunset in my frontyard without being scared ill be harmed.
the sunrise and sunsets are not so bad, but i still feel odd.
but this post is pointless, but i guess its alright, because i did reveal a lifelong fear of mine that i havent really actually put into words like that before.
but yeah i have no end or point for this so ill just end it here.