So i talked with my mom tonight, just sort of catching up, she asked me about The Exchange (new cafe/music/art venue thing at Journey) and i told her, and then that went into another conversation about her night, and then to my band, then to my future, etc.
so when we get to my future, i said how i dont really have a career in mind because well... i dont even wanna try for movie star or rock star haha.
so im like okay, theres no REALISTIC career i want...
and i thought how if anything i would wanna do something that i really had like.. a passion for, or a calling, and well all i could think of was how right now i have a big conviction about people's humanities being taken away, how like people in jail get treated so cruelly and like... they're treated like animals or evil robots, rather than children of God with a purpose. and then my mom told me about how i could go into psychology for people who are either in jail, or just got released from jail, or i could help women just released from jail, get jobs and keep their life on track, but then i thought how i would want to be like... a christian psychologist. i dont want to be with like some company and i go from like the scientific point of view, like the whole "how does that make you feel?" type thing, like... i want to be like "is there any generational sin in your life?" or "can i pray for you?" like... i want to be like a christian psychologist/prayer warrior/humanity giver-backer (haha).
also for people who are sentenced to life in prison, or the death-penalty, because right there youve kind of gotten your humanity, and purpose, stripped away. its like..
well, im gonna be in here forever, what purpose do i have?
and so i want to like help those people...
i dont know...
and also im big on like morals for young teens as of recently... because honestly, teens these day are SO REDICULOUSLY STUPID!!! and SO REDICULOUSLY IMMATURE! and they think they are so cool! its depressing! they cuss right and left, they are all over each other (boyfriend/girlfriend-wise) in public, girls dress like sluts and that makes them popular, guys are perves and its "funny", people who are stupid are "normal", and if your apathetic then you're "different".... and thats just in my circle of friends (almost ALL of whom are "christians" or go to church... something's wrong here...)
what?!? no! thats so not right! i feel like if we were in bible-times God would have sent down an army of angels to distroy, well... the whole earth. (like ya know how if there was a city that was realllllly screwed up then he would take out all the God-seeking ones and warn them, and then distroy the city) well i feel like God should distroy america. maybe thats why the economy goes to crap, and natural disasters happen. because there are so many people now God cant just distroy a city anymore, and we're all so spread out he couldnt just warn the righteous ones to leave, where would we go? ya know?
honestly, i constantly want to just start my own country, and do it right. like morally, socially, etc. but 1, buying your own island is EXPENSIIIVVE, and its a part of at least some country, and would probably have laws already set n stuff. and 2, people would probably either think im rediculous, or think im the leader of a kult or something... but really! not even my christian friends are doing it right! im not even doing it right!
maybe i should start my own church? idk.
no wonder the tribulation is gonna happen, and the rapture, all that stuff.
we are screwed up!