Friday, June 19, 2009


Okay... so.

quick recap of all the funness that happened at the start of my summer!!!! (ahh its gonna be so good!)

1- Grad Nite... it was AMAZING! so much fun! disneyland turned into a rave/club! it was so awesome! me and the friends i brought decided we're gonna try to come with our friends' future grad nites, and then eventually become chaperones because it is SO FUN! and fairly cheap.

2- Birthday... So Spencer planned out my whole birthday-day and so that was really fun! and the gifts he gave me made me cry... one of them was a painting that i am IN LOVE WITH. and so the whole day was just really fun. and i was with really rad people, and then after all the events ended we went back to Ariel Zeigler's house and spent the night and then had pancakes in the morning, and then after that i got ready for...

3-Graduation... it was super long, super boring, waayyyy too many speeches! there were like 64 people graduating, and im pretty sure more than half of them gave speeches because they gave everyone the option to say a 1.5 minute speech... but still... it was boring, and i was the 2nd to last person to graduate because my last name is Valentine so i had to waiiiiiiiiit forevvverrrrrrr to get my diploma, but then afterwards it was fun, and we hung out at michael's house.

4-Saturday... the band went flyering for our upcoming show this monday, and bought tshirts at the swap meet to make band shirts out of for our show, and then something happened that i couldnt miss or something like that...

5-Sunday... Melissah got baptised!!! :]]] yayyyy! then afterwards we went to michaels? im forgetting things... i dont quite remember what happened.

6-Monday... The band went and tried to screenprint some shirts for the show, that didnt work out so well so we were doing different things to try to fix the file we were going to screenprint, and then just hung out, bunch of stuff,

7-Tuesday... i dont quite remember all that happened earlier that day, but i remember i was checking craigslist for an ipod touch (sort of a birthday present type thing) and then went to souplantation with the tuesday group, then had tuesday group at la mesita park and then hung out at michael's

8-Wednesday... picked up the ipod touch with spencer and jon and then went back to michael's to figure out the ipod touch and jailbreak it and all that good stuff, then i got my hair dyed!!! which i LOOOOVE! and everyone else loves it too! so im really happy with it. it made me nervous though because violet's boss wouldnt let me have any say in the decisions they would make because i was being a hair model for violet to prove her skills to her boss, but it turned out amazing! yayyyy!

9-Today... went to church, had TPT practice, then went to a meeting with Jason and David about worship in Encounter, and it was a really good meeting, and then went to grossmont to get food, then went to michael's house after figuring out if i was needed for worship this week or if i had a break, and then hanging out at michael's then going to a party with C28 people at like 9:45 and played rockband for like... ever! and then went home at like... 1:00am-ish.

10-Tomorrow... i have TPT practice, like... crazy hardcore practice because we have stuff coming up.

11- the next day (Saturday)... is my, spencer's, noah's, david's, and michael's, combined graduation party which TPT is playing a couple songs at... (thus some of the hardcore practice)

12-Sunday... TPT is playing a song (or so i think) in encounter? i think? i never heard if it was final or not actually, but we have a song called benjamin song that is like the story of Benjamin Button which is the movie that Encounter is doing for God at the Movies.

13-Monday... TPT has a show!!! at Channel Twelve25 7:00pm. $8 presale, $10 at the door, we're playing with The Status, Pensive, Paint, and i forgot the other band (if there is one)... and we have a new intro! and possibly... HOPEFULLY we will have shirts by then because we will pretty much have to go to the screen printing place that morning, give them the remade file, have them made, done, and dried, all before 6:00... so yeah... wow.

14-Tuesday... its Jon's 16th bday!!!!! yayyyy!!!

15-24-27th... not much... probably just awesome hang out times.

15-28th (sunday)... mandatory Pre-OGN meeting!!!!! ahhhhh so close! so awesome!


17- July 9th- Rx Bandits are coming to SOMA!!!! yeeeuhhhh!!!! so excited!

18- July 18th- BATTLE OF THE BANDS!!!! at Channel Twelve25 (of course) winner gets i think 750? and the other bands had to compete and be judged and picked to even play at battle of the bands, but the venue actually ASKED us to play, so we didnt have to compete or be judged, we're just in... to play battle of the bands.

so yeah.

im pretty dang excited!!!

not to mention all the fun awesome stuff that Encounter is gonna do throughout the summer, and then going into New Format! which is CRAAAZYYY to me!!! wow! man

this summer is gonna be THE BEST!

Thursday, June 4, 2009


Okay... so...

my mom woke up (after like 2 hours of me pacing around the house, calling a friend, just laying on the ground doing nothing, blogging, etc.) and i told her i needed to go to the hospital, of course she was worried and asked why, so i told her.

she called the doctor and made an appointment.

i went to the doctor, did a test, the doctor asked me questions and told me what was wrong with me...

oh and, while i was there i found out i was due for 3 shots :[

so i get the shots (like a trooper), get the antibiotics and i go home.

so im like... DEAD TIRED because i got absolutely NO sleep whatsoever the night before because my back was hurting so bad (and my back was hurting the whole day too. like during the test, in the waiting room, etc.)

so i get home and take a nap, but only for like... 45 minutes because i wake up with the WORST pain of my entire life!!!! like... it was excrutiating! the night before i would have rated my pain as like a 6 or 7, but this was more like... a 9.5 (i left the .5 for people who had a limb cut off, or are in labor, etc.) but i was bawling my eyes out, i called my friend to have them pray for me, and then i called my mom to come home from work RIGHT NOW and call the doctor because i needed to go back to the hospital ASAP! i was in soooo much pain!

like, i was writhing because i was in so much pain, and i was crying, but the writhing/moving made my pain worse, so it was like a vicious cycle.

and so i was telling my mom when she got home and was on the phone with the doctor that i dont care about IVs i want morphine! i want an ambulance! i dont care!

and i couldnt get out of my bed, so i wanted a stretcher too.

i wanted some freeking IMMEDIATE attention!

so my mom was talking to the doctor and they set up an appointmet for Urgent Care for 6:00pm!!!! that was like... 4 or 5 hours of waiting!!!! but it was the best we could do i guess,

and they said to give me 3 ibuprofin and if it works, then we can cancel the appointment...

so i take them, and my mom helps me out of my bed and moves me to the couch, and by then ive become sort of like... apathetic. like, kind of like "if this pain kills me, whatever. if i pass out from the pain, whatever. if i throw up or something, whatever." so i stopped crying and stopped moaning and writhing and just kept the pain within myself.

and then my wonderful, amazing, loving, perfect friends came over to visit me and watch star wars with me. and they brought me a slurpee haha.

and so my pain started to go away, and i started to feel better, it still hurt when i moved though, but it wasnt so constant anymore...

so we cancelled the appointment.

but i seriously thought my kidney was about to rip open, or catch on fire, or just completely deteriorate.

it hurt so bad!

but now im fine...

that day i actually went to panda express with my wonderful friends (minus 1) and came back home.

and then, that night, when my painkillers totally would be worn off by then, (after about 11 hours) i got up off the couch without thinking about it, and i didnt even remember the pain until like 2 minutes later, and i was like woah!!! i just got up and didnt feel anything!

so that was awesome.

but im still drinking a TON of water, and taking my pills, and sleeping on the couch (because it gives my back more support than my bed), and eating fruit roll-ups (those dont do anything except make me happy)

so yeah.

im not dying. and im happy about it.


i have to take 3 pills everyday for another like... 10 days.

which includes during grad night, and my birthday, and graduation.

but whatever, as long as it heals me, im good.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

im terrified.

k so, right now im waiting for my mom to wake up to tell her i need to go to the hospital asap because i think there may be something wrong with my kidney(s), and well im scared.

because i hate the hospital, if i dont go, this issue i have could potentially be life threatening if it spreads... but if i do go, then im gonna have to wait forever, do tests, answer questions, actually BE there, most likely have to wear one of those butt gowns, get antibiotics, and if it's serious, then possibly even an IV!!!!! like um... HOLY CRAP! i almost had to be held down to get an itty bitty shot the last time i had to get one, and i was bawling my eyes out like a baby, now an IV!??? thats like 10 times worse! i didnt like knowing a itty bitty needle had to go in my arm, but a freeking TUBE?!?!? let alone the fact that it will HURT, when they put it in AND when they take it out?!?

like... what the heck!

im scared :[

i want my mom to wake up already! and i wish today wasnt a school day too because i need some support... :[

im terrified.

pray for me to calm my nerves, and pray that it's not serious and that the pain goes away...

oh and btw, im not being overdramatic about going to the hospital, i have good reason, ive already had symptoms that the internet says "call your docter right away if..." but this time i had pain to where i couldnt sleep one wink and i called spencer to pray for me and he looked up more info, and said that i HAVE to go to the doctor in the morning, if not right then (like 4:30am)

and the sucky thing is, (or well one of them,) i havent told my mom about any of my symptoms which i know is really stupid, but 1, i didnt want to worry her or have her jump to conclusions, 2, i was emberassed because of some symptoms, and 3, i thought i was getting better...

so telling my mom is going to come as a complete shock to her, and she may be hurt i didnt tell her in the first place, so i guess pray for that too, because i really dont want her to think that she's a bad mom or something.


im scarrreedddd!!!!

Monday, June 1, 2009


i want to see your views on repentance, like in God's eyes...

in my opinion, i think that when you TRULY repent, (not just saying sorry, but actually "turning from your ways") i dont think God sees the sin anymore. He is known to "forgive and forget" right? so i would think that God only sees the un-repented sin. right?

so when we repent we can be released from that sin, right?

and if that sin were a sort of "blurry lined" one, then maybe once you repent of it then you can look at the good side of it, as long as youve turned from your ways? i think so.

do you agree? or disagree?

i want to see your thoughts.


Okay so theres this little shindig happening where its a 5-way combined graduation party, and well...

i was trying to make a list of who to invite, and it just made me lonely because there are people for instance, in my small group, who i want to invite, but i dont think they would care enough to come... i feel like a lot of people in my small group have something against me... which well, i know what it is, but it just sucks because they are acting like everything is fine, yet they dont want to have anything to do with me.

and its not like i can come up to them and say "heres how it is, you dont need to be mad at me" because they will be like "im not mad, what do you mean?" or whatever, but they actually are and dont want to say it to my face, and then go along their merry way and ill still be stuck with no one to turn to.

and its like really? are you serious? NO girl has my back? well... except maybe like... 1 or 2, but in comparison to the freeking like... 25 that the other person has? its like... what? i thought i had friends, but they just turn against me once i do one little thing wrong.


i just want to get out already!

this is one of the reasons why im glad im graduating early, and why i want to leave when im graduated, because every single sunday, when i look at all the faces that dont talk to me anymore, or are all awkward around me because they "know", it hurts me.

i used to be able to come into encounter, sit with whoever i wanted and have a good time. now i stand in the back until one of the few who still care about me shows up and i can tag along with them and sit with them, ignoring how alone i feel.

im sorry, but i dont want to stay.

its really not fun when you go to things like the spring retreat and the only people you get along with (except for a few girls that you barely talk to, and maybe like 2 who you sort of do) is the adult leaders... and i guess its "not aloud" for a student to hang out with an adult leader? i dont see why, especially because the ones that i would hang out with are ones that i already had ties to through either my siblings or even just myself BEFORE they became leaders.

life freeking sucks for me right now.